|About the Book|
If you are reading this book, I feel sadness for you and your loved ones. In all of my 55 years of life, never had I faced anything more horrific than going to prison. The idea of being sentenced in a federal court and then expected to self-surrenderMoreIf you are reading this book, I feel sadness for you and your loved ones. In all of my 55 years of life, never had I faced anything more horrific than going to prison. The idea of being sentenced in a federal court and then expected to self-surrender was beyond my imagination.The moment I arrived at the court for sentencing, I was almost in a state of disbelief. My shock about everything had turned into some sort of weird state. It’s like the color black, where all colors are present. You are experiencing every feeling and thought in a heart clenching period. Your stomach is in knots. Maybe you are sweating profusely. You just want to die. The experience of imprisonment may be simple to a few, but if you are not a hardened criminal and you are going to prison over something deemed as white collar, most likely, you are not emotionally prepared for the onslaught.As I write this, I am recalling all the fear and shame I suppressed at the court. I didn’t want to appear weak or silly, so I put on a neutral appearance, even smiling at times at the fucking prosecutors that were just acting like it was another day in paradise. That courtroom felt like a rat cage and smelled like an old rest home. Grandiosity reeked from around the court. It looked like it hadn’t changed in a 100 years. I guess the memory of your court room will stick with you like a tattoo. It will always give you a moment of instant recall with that sickening emotion you had in your own experience. I still feel hate and rage about this.To this day, some three years out of prison, I still get queasy from the memory. Even from television or a movie. The sight of a court room, all those ‘stiffs’ running around in their ugly suits and sheriff outfits, those mousey looking female court reporters and staff. It all just brings it back.I was fairly prepared to face the music. I had a lot of professional counsel, read everything I could find, and followed the blogs online. I am a bright man and understanding the information was easy. I knew there would be some frightening moments. But, as you may know, there is nothing you can do about any of it except know the right information and how it will all operate. Then, you can begin preparing correctly for the inevitable. And, importantly, you can help prepare the people you will leave behind.So you may ask, why would anyone want to re-live this information by writing this book? No one would possibly find any bliss in this situation, but I am hoping that my information will help you and yours, find a sense of neutrality and less upset, as you move forward on your journey. I am also a professional counselor. I am thinking about opening my practice to help people like us, who need fast-track guidance.